Meet the Spartans (2008) Movie and Film Photos and Desktop
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Meet the Spartans is a 2008 parody film directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. Similar to past movies, such as Scary Movie, Epic Movie and Date Movie, it pokes fun at various movies. Although it references many movies, TV shows, people and pop cultural events, it focuses mainly on the 2007 historical war film 300. The film is rated PG-13 in the US and 12 in the UK for crude and sexual humor throughout, language, and some comic violence.
Meet the Spartans is a sequel to 2007's Epic Movie set for release on January 25, 2008. It was written, directed, and co-produced by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The MPAA rated it PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language, and some comic violence. Although it references many movies, TV shows, people and pop cultural events, it focuses mainly on the movie 300. The cast includes Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Kevin Sorbo, Ken Davitian, Method Man, Diedrich Bader, Nicole Parker, Crista Flanagan, Ike Barinholtz, and many more. This movie has been criticized for most of the same reasons Epic Movie was, little creativity with little actual plot.
Cast:
Sean Maguire as King Leonidas - 300
Carmen Electra as Queen Margo - 300 / Dennis Rodman / Spider Man 3
Ken Davitian as Xerxes - 300 / Transformers / Borat
Nicole Parker as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Ellen DeGeneres and Paula Abdul - Extra, MADtv, The Ellen DeGeneres Show and American Idol
Ryan Fraley as Jack Black
Zachary Dylan Smith as Little Leonidas
Tiffany Claus as Angelina Jolie
Nick Steele as Kevin Federline - Date Movie
Ike Barinholtz as Bond Villain, Prophet, Dane Cook (in extended version)
Tony Yalda as Sanjaya Malakar - American Idol
Christopher Lett as Randy Jackson - American Idol
Crista Flanagan as Oracle/Ugly Betty - Ugly Betty / 300 / The Matrix
Jesse Lewis IV as Ms. Jay Alexander - America's Next Top Model
Jenny Costa as Tyra Banks - America's Next Top Model
Belinda Waymouth as Twiggy - America's Next Top Model
Dean Cochran as Rocky Balboa
Emily Wilson as Lindsay Lohan
John Di Domenico as Jack Thompson
Four of the actors in Meet the Spartans also appeared in Epic Movie. Carmen Electra played Mystique, Jim Piddock played Magneto, Jareb Dauplaise played Nacho Libre, and Crista Flanagan played Hermione Granger.
Popular-culture references:
300 (main plot)
Meet the Parents
Cloverfield
Happy Feet
Ghost Rider
Rocky Balboa
Transformers
Stomp the Yard
You Got Served
Little Miss Sunshine
The Matrix
Spider-Man 3
High School Musical
Shrek the Third
American Idol
America's Next Top Model
Dancing with the Stars
The Apprentice (Donald Trump)
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Paris Hilton
Ugly Betty
Britney Spears
Kevin Federline
Lindsay Lohan
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
Rambo
Scarface
Deal or No Deal
Dane Cook
Chris Crocker
George W. Bush
YouTube
Little People Big World
Wrestlemania 23
Sanjaya Malakar
The film opens with a Spartan elder inspecting a baby which resembles Shrek, he then proceeds to kiss it as the narrator paraphrases the words of Dilios about the Spartan selectiveness of their citizens. The baby vomits on the inspector and is then rejected and punted off the hill. With the next baby in hand, the narrator says if it is Vietnamese, Brangelina gets first dibs. Baby Leonidas is then inspected, having a six-pack, biceps, and beard from birth. He is accepted as a Spartan and prepared for his kinghood through his childhood training, from fighting his grandmother to enduring James Bond-style torture at the hands of Le Chiffre. Leonidas (Sean Maguire) is then cast out into the wild, and survives the harsh winter while killing a giant dancing penguin.
Returning a king for his inauguration ceremony, Leonidas sees Margo (Carmen Electra) dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her chastity belt. The film then fast forwards to where the story begins, opening with Leonidas training his son, until Captain (Kevin Sorbo) informs him that a Persian messenger (bling and all) has arrived.
The messenger has come to present Xerxes' demands for Sparta's submission. Leonidas arrives to greet the messenger in the Spartan way (high-fives for the women and open mouth tongue kisses for the men). After growing angry with the messenger's disrespect, Leonidas kicks him, the messenger's bodyguards, and then several other people he simply disliked, ranging from Britney Spears (Nicole Parker) and Kevin Federline (Nick Steele) to Sanjaya Malakar (Tony Yalda), the American Idol judges. As Leonidas walks off he turns to a column, that has a switch that reads "Garbage Disposal", and flips the switch causing the celebrities to spiral to their "death".
Resolving to face the Persians, Leonidas visits the Oracle, proposing an "erotic-sounding" strategy to repel the numerically superior enemy after offering the priests various skin-care lotions for guidance. The Oracle, Ugly Betty (Crista Flanagan), reveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war.
That night, Leonidas and Margo then decide to "pump some iron" before Leonidas leaves for Thermopylae, which in fact is just Leonidas bench pressing his wife one hundred times. Leonidas then goes out to meet the soldiers assembled for his departure, and finds that only 13 (not 300) were accepted in the army, since there were stringent specifications to be accepted (one of which is having a Mediterranean tan). Three among them include Captain, his son, Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Sonio is then nominated as "Sparta's Next Top Warrior". Paris Hilton (also played by Parker), is rejected from joining their army due to her mild deformities.
Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest, similar to the male-performed cheer dances in Stomp the Yard, before driving them off a cliff. Xerxes (Ken Davitian), impressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him in a Deal or No Deal fashion. Despite the soldiers' encouragements, the Spartan king declines, saying that he will instead make the "God King" fall. The Spartans then face the Xerxes army in a "Yo Momma" fight, ending with a victory, in spite of Dilio having his eyes scratched out.
Though victory seemed to be in the Spartans' grasp, Paris Hilton betrays the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes, having been promised her hump removed among her various demands. Using a CGI army, Xerxes meets the 12 remaining Spartans and the war is on.
Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo sexually submits to Traitoro to persuade him to send more troops to assist Leonidas. He states that he will finally lose his virginity while using his cell phone to take pictures. However, he reveals publicly that she has not been chaste. The anger at this revelation provokes a symbiote Spider-Man suit to envelop her, mirroring the parasitic symbiote Spider-Man suit in Spider-Man 3. She fights with Traitoro, who, in line with the parody, becomes the Spider-Man 3 villain the Sandman. Margo wins the battle with a vacuum cleaner - and Traitoro's treachery is revealed, whereupon Sparta agrees to send more troops.
However, the Spartan decision to send troops comes too late, as Xerxes and the Persian army (which mostly consists of non-existant CGI-soldiers projected on a giant blue screen) fight the Spartans, who refuse to retreat. The battle initially starts well for the Spartans, but the tide turns as the Persians introduce their secret weapons: Ghost Rider, who is quickly defeated, and Rocky, who kills Sonio but gets killed by the Captain. The Captain then gets killed by a spear, thrown by Xerxes.
Captain's death enrages Leonidas, and the battle sequence switches to a GTA format as he runs through the Persian Army and corners Xerxes. While running away, Xerxes finds the Allspark from the 2007 film Transformers, and harnesses its power to combine with a convertible and turn into "Xerxestron", a parody of Megatron, and plays "Leave Britney Alone" videos to prove his "godly power". But Xerxestron ends up delivering on Leonidas's promise to "fall", as his power cord disconnects and he falls forward, crushing the surviving Spartans under his bulk. Thus the narrator concludes, "Leonidas was true to his word: a god-king did fall ... but unfortunately, right on them!"
The blind Dilio, who left prior to the final battle, eventually returns to Sparta to tell of Leonidas' final moments. A year later, Dilio leads a force a hundred real Spartans and several thousand CGI-ones to defeat the Persians, but the blind warrior ends up going the wrong way and leads the Spartans to Malibu. They end up crashing into Lindsay Lohan as she leaves drug rehab, causing her to expose her bare groin and fly off screen.
The film ends with a musical number set to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" performed on American Idol by all of the characters in the film. It also spoofs Britney Spears' VMA's comeback performance.
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